Y’all, Florida’s got some wacky laws—and I’m not just talking about the Florida Man headlines. For real, one of the kookiest is Coral Gables’ law against shooting or throwing deadly missiles. I know, sounds like something out of a cartoon, right? But this law’s the real deal, and it can land you in some hot water if you don’t watch yourself in The City Beautiful.
The Deets on the Law
So what’s the deal with this law? Well, the City of Coral Gables has a whole ordinance making it “unlawful for any person to shoot or throw any deadly missile upon any street, alley, highway, sidewalk, public park, public school ground or public place within the city.” And in case you’re wondering what counts as a deadly missile, the law gives examples like “any stone, iron missile, bullet, arrow, or other like object.”
Yeah, I know—seems kinda ridiculous in this day and age. But this law’s been on the books since the 1920s when Coral Gables was just getting started. Back then, I guess they were worried about rowdy shenanigans with people chucking stuff. Of course, these days it’s not so much about stopping shenanigans as it is about public safety.
The Po-Po Take it Seriously
Even though this law sounds kooky, Coral Gables police don’t mess around enforcing it. Just ask this poor dude who got arrested a while back for shooting spitballs out of a straw. I know, right? Spitballs! Like he was in middle school or something. But nope—he got booked for discharging a deadly missile.
That’s not all. Over the years, folks have been arrested for:
- Throwing eggs at houses on Halloween
- Shooting bottle rockets
- Even just chucking small rocks or debris into the street
So yeah, if you’re looking to goof around with spitballs, eggs, bottle rockets, or the like, you better steer clear of The Gables unless you want to take a ride downtown.
But Why Tho?
I know this law seems kinda extra, but Coral Gables officials say it’s about keeping the public safe. After all, a spitball to the eye could injure someone. And bottle rockets or eggs getting flung around can also be dangerous, cause property damage, or just make people feel threatened.
As one legal analyst said, “It’s a public safety issue. [The law is] designed to protect citizens from being injured from reckless behavior.”
So while it might seem silly on the surface, the law’s really meant to discourage any kind of reckless missile throwing that could harm others—whether it’s intentional or not.
When in Doubt, Don’t Throw it Out
The bottom line is that in Coral Gables, it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you’re ever tempted to goof around and shoot, toss, or throw stuff—don’t do it! Stick to playing catch or just chatting with your friends instead of risking a deadly missile charge.
And if you do somehow find yourself facing charges for spitballs or bottle rockets, call up a local criminal defense attorney ASAP. An experienced lawyer can review the details of your case and build the strongest defense to help get your charges reduced or dismissed.
They may argue the item you threw wasn’t truly a “deadly missile.” Or they could claim you weren’t putting anyone in real danger. An attorney can also negotiate with prosecutors for a better outcome, like getting the charges dropped if you stay out of trouble.
So learn from others’ mistakes—keep the spitballs and eggs in the fridge where they belong if you’re hanging out in Coral Gables. And if you do mess up, lean on a trusty lawyer to protect your rights. They’ve got your back!